Counseling.
Yikes. What an intimidating word-on paper nonetheless!
I cannot recommend counseling or coaching enough-especially as a Stepmom. You are going to experience things that you would never have imagined-even if you “knew what you signed up for.” *insert eye roll here*
You’ll have lots of new players in your life. Like it or not. Your partner. In-laws. The ex (or exes). Ex in-laws. The kid(s). Their friends. People that knew them together.
Talk about awkward at best, but you should totally be able to navigate this on your own, right? Yeah, sure. You can struggle and to make it work-while driving yourself insane. OR you can go ahead and sign up for counseling now.
Marriage counseling for the both of you or for just you. I recommend getting counseling for both of you. You both need to figure out this new “normal” and work together on things. It’s usually best that way. 😉
I highly suggest before going, you sit down (individually) and come up with what is working. What isn’t working. Where you need boundaries and how you would like to move forward. (Key thing here is to do this without it turning into a fight… otherwise, what’s the point?) Then join up and compare notes. How do you want to do this as a couple? What’s realistic? What isn’t? THEN take that to counseling.
Be prepared for counseling to bring out the not so….nice (?) side of you or your partner. Just a thought. 😉 You may want one thing. They may want another. A huge word to learn: compromise. I think my husband may have wanted me to learn this (and implement it) sooner than I (truly) did. I mean, I can’t blame him. I felt the same way about a few things, but I’m going to tell you now, digging your heels in gets you nowhere.
Why counseling? You want this marriage to work right? Are you getting anywhere with what you’re doing now? If you keep trying the same thing over, you’re going to get the same results. One of you has to do something different. One of you has to make the move. Let it be you. If you get a marriage counselor, please, please, PLEASE make sure they are versed in blended families…otherwise it may do more harm than good.
You are a team. Any “team” you see working together doesn’t just happen. They have coaches/leaders/guidance/support. Do your marriage a favor, get the support you’ll need. Even if it’s just every once in awhile.
If you’re looking for a sign, Stepmom, this is it. Make the call. Do it. If you’re looking for a Stepmom Coach, I’m your woman! Check out how we can work together.
