Hey lady! Ever look back at your life and think, “Damn, that used to bother me…but now it doesn’t…interesting.” What changed?
You.
I have changed. The way I handle things. The way I let things enter my realm. The way I react respond to stressors. I can’t do anything about what other people are doing or saying. I can’t control them or their thoughts. Hell, I can barely control my own thoughts sometimes.
Stepfamily stressors are hard. There are so many different people in the game of life in a Stepfamily. When you first start out, you want every one to like you. To get along. You can “fix” the situation you find yourself in! You can do it! Right? Well, not really.
You can’t fix something you didn’t break, and you also can’t make people like each other with the history they have.
Things that used to drive me insane? Last minute schedule changes-including from us. I’m a planner and try to be respectful of people’s time. Toys everywhere. I like a pretty neat and well kept house, and was a bit over the top about this. (Sorry guys.) The limited time I/we had with the kids. It seemed as if when they settled in at our house, they had to go back.
The biggest thing? Not being able to plan my our life without getting input from at least one other household. If we were going to be gone, we had to let the other house know the dates. Would they be available to have the kids? If not, who could keep them? Same thing for the other house. If they were going away, would we be able to keep the kids? If not, who would? Scheduling all of that is something I do not miss.
Now, years later, these things don’t get under my skin. I take a deep breath. We problem solve and move forward.
Again, I can only control me. Once I seared that into my memory (and the deep breaths), things got better. I no longer worry about who’s doing what. Do they like me? Do they hate me? What did I do to piss them off?
Most likely, how that other person is acting has NOTHING to do with you. Everyone has off days/weeks. Keep it moving, girlfriend. Keep it moving.
Boasting to your husband about how much growth you have had over the years might not be a good idea, soooo take the time to congratulate yourself-over a cup of coffee.
Let me know what you’ve seen the most change/growth in your life. I’m always curious to see what’s changed.
