“He’s older than you. Like, a lot older…”
“Wait, that’s your husband?”
“You know he’s going to die before you, right?”
“Have you thought about what it’s like dating an older man?”
The questions I got and then some when I said I was *gasp* dating an older man. Oh, but then he’s been married? And he has kids? The judgement. The side eyes. Everything.
I’ve never been one to live my life by anyone else’s standards. I have had boyfriends that said, “When we have kids…” Me: end relationship. No thanks. I couldn’t see myself marrying them, let alone having kids with them.
Being in an age gap relationship really works for us-now. It was something that my husband didn’t think would work for him. All the classic reasons. I was younger. I would probably want to get married. Have kids. See the world. He’s older. He’s been married. He has kids. He’s been around the world. All valid reasons, but he hadn’t done them with me.
Push came to shove and we decided to date. Fast forward and we get married. Fast forward and now we have a beautiful little girl. Yep, he’s an older dad. You know what, I see more and more of them now…and so does he. I make sure to point them out.
The age difference matters the most to people that aren’t in our relationship. I’m not sure why that is, but live your own damn life. I appreciate that my husband has years of experience on me. I get a better man because of it. I have a much more solid man because of it. Our daughter has a dad that has been through all of these things before. Even though he has more experience, there are still things to figure out together. Life is funny that way.
I appreciate that he’s comfortable in his own skin. He’s not concerned with keeping up with the neighbors. He’s calmly confident in who he is. There’s no reason for him to be flashy.
I appreciate that not much bothers him. I can be upset and he is the calm in the storm. He has the wisdom to know that life goes on and whatever is happening shall pass. He weathers the storm…beautifully. I now am able to do this. I’ve learned from him.
He has a solid career/job and is where he wants to be. He knew what he wanted, how to get there, and made it happen. This doesn’t sound like a big deal, but when career decisions are something that you don’t worry about, it’s one less thing to have on the table of decisions.
Again, he’s been there done that. It is crazy to write this out. Years ago, acknowledging this publicly would have spiraled me….now. It is what it is, right?
Love always wins.
And to answer the questions: Yes, I’m aware of what comes with being married to an “older” man.
Are you in an age gap relationship? What’s the gap? What questions/comments have you gotten?
